Saturday, September 20, 2008

Does he make you laugh?

This article is not about teaching how to improve sense of humor neither it is about how to make him/her laugh. There is lots of stuff available on the net on those topics. This article is to realize how ‘humor’ plays an important role in our daily routine and of course relations. Especially for women, an important question – “Does he make you laugh?” I know we must have heard this in many movies but never thought seriously about it. If you are thinking what so big deal about it is or does that really matter? Think again, it does!!!

What do you think? Does humor between the couples really matter? When I asked a similar question to some of my friends, I received mixed answers. For some of them it was very important, and for some of them it was not really essential but just that at least he doesn’t make me cry sort of answer, of course which is good too. But isn’t that (not making cry) a responsibility, that cannot be categorized as a fine quality. But making you laugh is optional and I think that it is as important as to be understanding, caring or loving.

With lot of women ‘he making you laughs’ may not be in the top list of being a perfect partner. They are usually smart, understanding, confident, caring, loving followed by TDH, affluent, cool, ambitious and so on… the list never ends (poor guys). But don’t you think somewhere we are always attracted towards people who makes us laugh. We like to be with them, their association makes you smile and relax. We think of those people more frequently. Isn’t that something you would like to see in your partner, we do want; it’s just that we are not explicit about it. Humors are a significant aspect of any human interaction and fortunately sense of humor can be learned and need not be inherited.

All you people who are committed or about to, ask yourself a question. What do I want from my relationship in the long term? It’s a lil difficult question but give it a try. Or try this, how would my relation with my partner be after 10 years. What do you think would be the most important driving force between your relations? Love, money, sex, looks… Love - broad argumentative topic (no comments), money – you would have earned enough by then, sex – inversely proportional to age, looks – fades with age (of course there are exception). Some of the forces I strongly feel is the trust factor you build with your partner through these years or the excitement of raising a child together, or even just listening patiently to your partner (with eye contact). But if no driving factor, it’s just the obligation to stay together coz we are ‘married’. No matter whether we love each other, no matter if we get along well, no matter how different our views are and blah blah. Also the concept of divorce is not so easily accepted in our country (not that am encouraging), hence a contract commitment.
But imagine what else could be our driving factor; may be humor and he making you laugh moments. This factor is not vulnerable to age, looks, money, status, children… it’s just about the attitude. So guys out there, make your loved ones laugh, no matter how silly you may sound, gradually you will improve over the quality, but any try is worth it. As mentioned earlier sense of humor is not inherited but can be cultivated, so don’t be too disappointed if you think you have a bad sense of humor. It just needs a slightly different approach to look at things.

Just like anybody else even I believed humor wasn’t too important or may be I wasn’t matured enough to understand. But some incidents with some inspiring people can change your opinion. This happened with me when I met my Uncle and Aunty in Chicago, US. They came to US a couple decades ago and are in their early 50s now. Both are working. They still seem to be in a full charming phase of life. Kinda difficult to imagine myself being fascinating at that age. My uncle has his own jovial style of meeting and greeting people. He can convert any serious conversation to a sensible humor. Most of his jokes target my aunt but without hurting her. Even my aunt has witty answers for his comments. She maturely handles his criticisms with a pinch of humor. And we all laugh together. Anybody around them wouldn’t stop having a good time. They just seem to complement each other so well. They look happy!
The sad part is that I don’t see this kind of harmony in most of the couples today. There are very few who maintain this kind of relation ship. The above cited couples seem like an ideal couple without any problems, but that’s not the case. Even they have there own problems, problems related to house hold, raising a child, handling finances, finding time for each other even health at that age but they still look happy. The most important learning here is that even with all those inevitable problems there is always an effort from both of them to find humor, to find happiness and finally build harmony.

Studies show that people with good sense of humor tend to be more creative, less rigid and more willing to consider and embrace new ideas and methods. Girls, am sure must be thinking “wow, this is exactly how I want my partner to be”. This works personally as well as professionally. Humor and laughter often create instant rapport and camaraderie among people; they help establish a bond between people on which a relationship can be built. If you start building this habit now, imagine in next 10 years your silly jokes or PJ what ever you call will refine into a quality humor. So all the best guys, make your loved ones laugh. Always heard laughter is the best medicine, now it’s not just for healthy body, but also for healthy relationships.

Message: Before you start taking my words seriously there are some disclaimers here as well.
- Humor does not mean you can make fun of other to make your partner laugh. Be careful you may be hurting somebody.
- Humor related to race, religion or intended towards in-laws are inappropriate.
- Santa jokes, mother-in law jokes and other jokes in that category are too common now, start thinking creatively.
- You may even crack the usual Husband-wife jokes in public, but make sure you are not insulting your spouse and he/she understands that’s its just for fun and non intentional.


Note: This article is dedicated to all those people who are committed or about to get. There is still time to bring the harmony back, needs little bit of effort.
I was by inspired by my Uncle (Bharath Sheth) and Aunty (Pramila Sheth) to write this article. Thanks to them...

Friday, July 25, 2008

What really resonates

          I always had these random thoughts running in this inchoate mind. There is an inner voice whispering all the time. There is suggestion at every step, every scene, every move and pretty much at everything we do. And this voice is even louder especially when you are not doing anything. Sometimes I did put them on paper, but have no idea where those pages are now as I never maintained a note or a diary (that’s when I thought I should be capturing them here).
But I always wondered how this inner voice resonate thoughts and suggestions. This is highly dependent on the culture you were brought up in, the people who you associate with and the books you read. These factors primarily drive one’s imagination (constructive or destructive) and ideas. Though we do not have much control over how we were brought up but we do on a daily basis choose who do we associate with (Power of association) and what books we read (Power of thoughts), altering these choices can change the way we think and change the way we are today mentally and financially.

This is where I am trying to put myself out there and connect with few like-minded folks and create that resonance which would eventually emit those powerful thought, ideas and experiences.
The matter that matters me the most are in the below two ships:
Ø  Entrepreneurship
·        Psychology behind entrepreneurial minds
·        Businesses and ideas with social cause
·        Start-up fever and its symptoms
·        Seek funds or Bootstrap
·        Funding/investing in smart ideas
Ø  Relationship
o   Between you and your better half
o   Between you and your kids
o   Between you and the people you associate with